“Wizard Bloody Wizard”
Bad Shit and Rock Bottom
February 10, 2013
Thee Parkside
San Francisco, Ca

Skating Drunky Radness (The Blood Wizard Video Premier)

I guess there are a couple different kinds of wizards. There’s those pussies like the ones in all the Lord of the Rings-type shit (I actually haven’t even seen all those flicks, I just think that crap is kinda square), but then there’s the evil (but in an awesome way) badass wizards who cast spells that makes chicks hike up their skirts or jocks wet the bed. Ha! Herein lies the variety of the almighty Blood Wizard, the magically treacherous skateboard company from San Francisco. These guys are doing things that tend to make the commoner shart in a combination of hysterical glee and fright. Every time I see one of their graphics, done by the amazing artist Skinner, I can’t decide whether I want to skate it or hang it on my wall. Then I fear it may give me day-mares and decide to de-sheath it so-est I may skate it forthwith. That’s why I got all tingly when I found out they were putting out a full-length skate video, Wizard Bloody Wizard, edited by the oft celebrated Mike Manzoori.  Not only was this video going to exist on an earthly realm, but they were going to celebrate it by having all kinds of premiers in California, namely one in San Francisco at Thee Parkside with the legendary skate-rock bands Bad Shit and Rock Bottom (the drummer of which, Jack Given, rides for Blood Wizard and had a standup part in the video…I mean, of course he was standing up. He was skating). Yes, this was gonna be a good night full of rock, roll, spells, wands, skating, beer…and cetera.

Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom

Candice and I arrived at Thee Parkside and got some drinks, stuck our noses around to say hey to all the friendly (or just familiar) faces and soon Rock Bottom took the stage. These guys rule. I mean both as a band and as individual humans. I’ve co-mingled on many-a skate sesh with all three of these guys and when they sing heartily and buoyantly about such a thing, it’s no joke. It may be arguable whether or not Jan or Dean actually surfed. Rock Bottom skates like it’s (not) going out of style. They’re just that good old-fashioned, fun-lovin power-chord beer music, singing about skating around, bombing hills and having the blues…the Pabst Blues! (Why didn’t I ever think of that when I was drunk? Come to think of it, the answer’s in the question.) Anyway, they were a really good intro to the night of festivities and got everyone in the right spirit to watch the Blood Wizard vid and yell and be merrily dumbassed

Rock Bottom

Rock Bottom

That was when the screen lowered. The time was at hand. Or, at wizard staff, I guess. And everyone hollered with sincere and drunken happiness. I was so excited I could hardly stand (sway) it. But stand and sway it I did, along with everyone else, for a long-ass time. Turns out the projector had never been tested and, wouldn’t you know it, that shit wasn’t set up properly. I saw all the Blood Wizards casting spells to get the thing going, but it was all in vain. Maybe cause all their dragons were late. As usual. Fucking dragons. So we decided to say “Eh, hell,” and watched the video on the TVs behind the bar; which, though it wasn’t no magically projected image, wasn’t horrible. We soon learned that the video would speak volumes at any screen-size. That shit was insane. So good. Everyone was flipping out and by the end of it everyone’s voice was so hoarse from screaming that I felt like I was in a barn. Horse? Barn? Anyone…? I’m not even going to try and put into words how amazing this vid is, since the beautiful about the age we live in is we don’t have to put anything into words. All we need to communicate our feelings or desires is links. On that note: Wizard Bloody Wizard.

Next up was Bad Shit. I’ve seen these guys many times and, well, it just seems to keep getting worse. Which is the best compliment anyone could give these guys. What I mean is, they’re that enjoyable kind of bad. Besides, they can play whatever they the fuck they want: With Thrasher Magazine editor Jake Phelps on guitar, Anti-Hero’s Tony Trujillo on bass and vocals and Mr. Trujillo’s wife, Trixie on drums, they could stand on stage and squeak a fucking balloon and skaters would mosh to it. Still, I always enjoy watching these guys. They’re fast and they sing about skating, what else could a dipshit ask for?


Bad Shit

Bad ShitBad Shit in action

So with only a few minor shit-ass pixy sprinkles, the Blood Wizard premier went off with a bang, and all their riders went back to their bridges and waited for a- oh wait, that’s trolls. They climbed aboard big white dragons and chased bullies around- no, that’s the kid from The Never Ending Story. The fucking wizards went home and puked and ate Lucky Charms, ya happy? Now go watch the video, ya medieval ingrate.

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